Disengagement - 解脫 - Jiětuō
Awake, but not yet rested,
wearily, I go through the motions.
The cover lays open,
pages filled with strange writing;
nonsensical, or perhaps I'm just not interested
in making sense.
I close the book, find a soft cushion,
and try to free myself, to meditate.
Evocation, chants repeated-
counting each vow on prayer beads.
Resolutions become real-
~inspired by Deng Ming-Dao
There are some days when one is disengaged from Tao. You may not be interested in devotion; everything has become empty form, without substance. Gone is spiritual bliss. You have become lost, ignorant of deep insight, and removed from integration with universal rhythm. You may try to remember the reasons you have set upon the spiritual journey, but thinking back to the beginning is not an effective tool to stimulate further progress. Your achievements in the past may not inspire you to continue to practice, to progress further in your quest. What should you do?
Every once and awhile, it is permissible to skip a day. If you are angry, or under great stress, or ill, then it is best to simply rest. But if you have given a vow, and if it is only a matter of laziness or indifference, then you must exert discipline to bring your will to bare, even if it means only going through the motions. If you do this, half of the time, something significant will occur. The rest of the time, you may not have gained anything tangible, but going through forms is still good practice. Keeping momentum is tremendously important, as rewards will begin to manifest later in life.