Moss-covered Monk

Moss-covered Monk

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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Daily Musing - February 12th, 2013 - Marriage - 婚姻 - Hūnyīn

Marriage - 婚姻 - Hūnyīn

A bridge built between opposite shores;
unity so often sought-after,
but rarely achieved in practice.
A span of tears over troubled water,
for those who forget a foundation.
A wall of flames for others,
who choose unsuitable material.
Select carefully,
know your self,
and take care
to provide for posterity.    

~inspired by Deng Ming-Dao

A snowflake on newly forged links ~Deng

For a marriage to last, a couple must undergo great trials and hardship. It is akin to forging steel links together. The iron must be heated to a high temperature, then plunged into cold water. A marriage also alternates between the heat of passion and the sorrowful chills. Tragedy, conflict, and adversity will arise from time to time. An enduring marriage is like tempered steel.

It is difficult to go through life alone. ~Deng

We all need support from time to time. We all have found peace through working with others toward a common goal. For a relationship to work, a couple must be basically compatible, in values, outlook, and purpose. It is an inadequate cliche, but it is often said that lovers must be also be friends. Two mates can know a kind of loyalty that is unknown in other relationships. Yet, even in the face of such seemingly abundant strength, one must be wary, as the Tao reminds us always of the need for moderation.

Ultimately, all relationships are temporary. 

False attachment leads to addiction, a voluntary bondage that is a great detriment to clear perception. We should never bind someone else to ourselves, defining ourselves through the marriage, forcing another to stay for our own pleasure. But if chance allows you to walk together, with your loving mate, then who is to challenge your choice of walking partner.

When time comes to part, it is time, do not despair. Leave no room for regrets. The beauty of marriage is like the fleeting perfection of a freshly formed snowflake.